December until now was a bit of a wild ride for me. My health declined - both mentally and physically. (not covid related!) and I found myself asking "why is this happening?" a lot. "I don't have time for this!"
The truth is, I knew why it was happening. I missed every sign along the way.
My body and my brain was telling me to stop. I wasn't listening.
I'm a huge fan of Kim John Payne's work - anyone who has followed us for awhile or knows me personally knows my love of his theories and practices. (I'm also a Simplicity Parenting Coach!)
One thing Kim talks a lot about is "turning down the tap". He relates this to children, but to us as adults as well.
Everything you do during the day can be thought of as coming through a tap, pouring into a glass. Your work, your extra curricular, your hobbies, everything flowing out of the tap. The tap doesn't stop flowing sometimes though, does it. You're scrolling social media more and getting all these fun subtle messages, trapped in the loop. Your glass overfills. Now comes in overwhelm and before you know it you're drowning and you don't always realize it. Sprinkle on a pandemic for some pzazz.
So....How do we turn down this tap?
Sometimes, I think we even need to shut the tap off.
What happens though when the tap turns itself off? Malfunctions. Creates back flow?
My tap was trickling down in December physically. Bike season had ended for me. The gym wasn't open. My body wasn't moving in the way I normally move it. Mentally....it was spraying out. Stress increased, Christmas wasn't super great (we made the best of it without Evan being able to come home), the holidays aren't always my favourite either. Bam. Guess what my body said? Enough. Shut 'er down.
Today was the first day since that happened where I really felt the urge to write. My creativity also had tanked entirely, but is slowly back on track.
How did I fix it?
I took a deep breath, looked at the whole picture and I turned my tap down. I shut down a lot of the taps. I then started to consciously fill my cup back up, little by little. Remembering to turn off the tap when I was done. I set limits for myself. I revisited my boundaries.
Listening to my body was a big adjustment again. The dark days of winter leaving also helped. I started meditating more (I use the Insight Timer app). I started moving my body more (I dusted off the old WiiFit board and YogaYak). I started being present again - I have a dear friend that phones me every day on her way home from work and we de-stress about our day (she's a teacher so we both need that moment). I started going for walks more and slowly building myself back up.
I started listening to my body - eating foods that were healthier again instead of just quick. Getting enough water during the day. With the nicer days ahead, I've been able to hop on my bike a few times. This has made a big difference. I went back to stopping scrolling my phone before bed and reading before meditating.
This transformation doesn't happen overnight.
Sometimes self care is stopping.
A few years ago I had adopted a year of "no." - I always feel guilty if someone needs help, wants to hang out, etc and I don't want to. Listening to my body and saying no though was a game changer. A very difficult one, but needed. I restarted that again. It takes a lot of guts.
I'm also still working on this every single day. Some things are out of my control (hello pandemic!I miss my husband...and my cousins and family and friends of course!)
This isn't a one size fits all solution. Every body is different. Your body will need something different than mine.
This is just works for me.
Sometimes though, self care is also starting again.
So, Hello Cousins. It's nice to be back.
We hope to have more content coming to you soon. As we continue to juggle our taps and conflicting schedules, we appreciate you and your patience. Of course, we always welcome you to share and interact too on our social media.
Remember, you are loved.
xx
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