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Inside (a ramble)


We've spent a lot of time inside, haven't we?

Inside is somewhere familiar to me. Somewhere warm, safe, a place where I am free to be me.


Inside - inside my head, inside my house, inside. Bo Burnham even titled his newest special Inside. "Well, well, look who's inside again"

(a lot of that special spoke to me - I laughed, I cried, I felt my feels. Thank you Bo for such a masterpiece.)


I've been struggling with going outside. I think the cousins will note that this resonates with them too.


Outside the house, outside of my head, outside of my normal. Because for years, even pre-pandemic, inside has been my normal.


Going outside can be scary, staying inside can be scary too. How do we find a balance? How do you even start? My bestie and I were scheduled to go see Harry Styles in Toronto... it was thankfully cancelled. I'm not ready to air travel and be in giant crowds like that... yet. (I use to fly nearly every month to see Evan...it breaks my heart to not want to travel right now...I love to travel!)

I've been starting small, because that's what works for me. Breaking down the days goals into smaller bite sized pieces. I want to go out and tend to the garden. That first involves getting out of bed, feeding the cats (because, routine), finding clothes... breaking it down in a way that works for me. I often get stuck in the mundane, how do we break away from this without causing ourselves to swing too far the other way. (Or vise versa)

Break it down. Live in the moment. Be where your feet are. Be human, first.


xo

~ Cousin Laura


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