I tested negative.
Like most people I know, I ended up getting sick just after Christmas. The now unfamiliar achy feeling, the tightness at the back of the throat that felt like razor blades, the whining, and lethargy. Ugh. I say unfamiliar because the I barely remember the last time I was ill like that. I’m not writing this for sympathy – or am I? lol
It all started with one of my boys… he was sick. We hustled down to the COVID testing site pretty sure it would be negative… hoping, anyway. And it was. One week later my other son had all the same symptoms as his brother. This time things were different. I tried to book a test and the earliest appointment was a week away. Hmmm. I called a bff/my-personal-info-line and she informed me that the new procedure was to go to the site to pick up a rapid test kit and take it home. So that was the plan.
Because she is awesome (I think I have a monopoly on awesome people in my life) she offered to drive by the site and assess the situation. She called to say there were about 20-30 people standing outside waiting for the kits. It was -42C. ‘Merican friends and fam, -40C is -40F. It was freaking freezing. These folks were bundled up and standing out in the cold waiting for the tests. My son and I grabbed our snow pants and layered up anticipating a long wait in the frigid temps. My friend went and stood in line as a placeholder for us. I quickly dropped my son off to go stand with her as I tried to find parking. It was packed. In a COVID-testing-miracle, friend and son were offered their Ziploc of tests in rapid time just as I barely secured a parking spot. We hopped back in the car and took off for home.
As soon as we got home, I jammed that Q-tip up his nose and swirled it around, just to be sure. Waiting for the test results reminded me of July 2004 – staring at a pregnancy test waiting for those pink lines. Thankfully no pee was involved although we laughed that it would have been much easier than the Q-tip up the nose.
Negative. We repeated the next day. Negative. A sense of relief.
It was about a week later that I ended up with the same symptoms as my boys – I’ll fast forward for you: negative.
Negative.
Funny how my shoulders pulled away from my ears. My chest lifted a bit. My head held high.
Why?
It is fascinating to me that those negative tests came with a slight feeling of superiority. Phew! COVE didn’t get me! (yet) I dodged it!! Dip, dodge, duck, dive, and dodge. I was still sick. I was still with the symptoms – sore throat, achy, half shut eyes – like a newborn kitten, sore back from coughing.. the works.
Except I tested negative.
I wish we didn’t have to speak in terms of negative and positive – as if we are some sort of battery.
I wish we were done with all of this.
I saw a Facebook post today of a lady I know who is literally screaming. Can we stop talking about this??
I wish we could.
We all wish we could.
As cousins, we haven’t really wanted to address the “P” word, the vid, the cove, the 19.
Now the babies are back at school and we sit here wondering what the next couple of weeks will bring. The uncertainty of it all… but the truth is we have always lived in uncertainty. I’m not sure we recognized it as much as we do now. No one knows what tomorrow brings. Heck! I don’t even know what I will have for lunch.
So, with uncertain-anticipation we will continue to move forward with faith, hope, and love. My hope for this new year is to bring kindness, love, and patience to my heart, home, and cousins.
Hmm… maybe I need to go make some hummus.
Much love to all.
Cousin Kerry
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