When I was a kid, there was a commercial campaign for milk who’s tag-line was “Milk, it does the body good.” Well, despite the very obvious issues (gender stereotypes et all) that go along with this series of commercials, (I laughed this morning because after I typed the title of this blog post... I googled the adds and they were, well, typically 80s.) the sentiment is the same. Where you are, isn’t where you’ll stay. We’re all growing.
But I digress - I’m here to talk about gratitude.
“We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorns have roses.” ― Alphonse Karr, A Tour Round My Garden/Voyage autour de mon jardin (1845)
I haven’t been “well” for a long time, I’ve struggled with some physical issues that have had me home bound the last few years. Long before Covid-19 came onto the scene, I had a huge struggle emotionally to find myself and to be okay with the changes that I’ve experienced over the last 10 years - all of which, at the time - seemed insurmountable.
Every time I hit an obstacle it took time, but things got better.
There is nothing like the light of dawn, to purge the darkness of any struggle. Here I am, not 100% but not lost to my physical ailments - fighting to stay in the light.
You know, the fight is never over unless you give up. You can fight with all your might against anything - until there isn’t any fight left in you. It’s okay to pause, change your grip, make a plan, start over or... quit. There just might come a time when it’s just time to accept things are not going to improve or you’ve reached that final wall - but until that time comes, whatever you’re struggling with it’s yours - nobody can tell you when it’s done or when to put it down.
Something that has helped me in moments of darkness, right as I was entering the recovering light of dawn was gratitude. Looking back on the battle and taking stock of what I still have and accepting/grieving what may have been lost.
Life is not meant to be spent lamenting our youth, hoarding happiness or trying to freeze all the best moments like some perfect capsule of time. You are changing, life changes you – time keeps moving, what's that quote about not looking back... Don't look backwards or you'll miss what's in front of you? Don't get stuck, learn and move on? There is some wisdom in this for sure.
Feeling emotional pain, has made me empathetic to the emotions of others. Struggling - is human. Grief is a signpost of deep love lost and all the negative experiences we have, are the balancing aspects of the universe that make the pleasure, love, laughter, happiness, hope and highlights in our days so impactful.
I am grateful for the good, but I’m especially grateful for the lessons I’ve learned from the bad. Without the struggle how could we value the peaceful moments?
When Covid-19 started getting bad, and the news cycles kept circling around how “isolation and mental health” were becoming an issue, I knew exactly what they were talking about. I had traversed those waters a year and a half before when I was forced to go off work and began my rehabilitation for frozen shoulders. I sat at home, in contrast to my usual routine of being surrounded by people and involved in intense social interaction.
Suddenly, for the first time in my life I was isolated. I might see an occupational therapist or a massage therapist once a week... but other then that I was alone. Alone with my thoughts, not a soul to talk to. The isolation took a horrible tole on my mental health but, then suddenly, I adapted.
When people where told to ”stay-home and keep their distance” I had mastered it! In fact, almost too well. I preferred spending my days quiet, not speaking, alone. But alone is different than lonely and that was something I had to learn to differentiate between.
At first I was excruciatingly lonely. Not being in motion, without the din of the world around me, my thoughts were deafening. But there came a point where it became a comfort to be alone with my thoughts.
I know that so much of what has gone on in the world has been troubling and hard. People loosing their family members, their livelihoods, the loss of stability in so many aspects of our lives and the comfort of routines. But I can’t help but be grateful for the lessons from the bad, this is where we are and moving forward we can do better. We can pause, change our grip, make a plan, start over, and it will be better. WE, will be better.
After every dark night I saw a dawn, and in the light of day there was hope.
Thanks for reading,
All the loves to you and yours.
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