Figuring it all out.

I sat down with the intention of writing today. I just couldn't figure out what to write about. I've got a huge list of unfinished blog posts... for here, and for my personal blog too. I kinda feel like a beach ball floating along in a pool without any direction or purpose. I wanted to tell you all about how I've improved my sustainability practices. I wanted to tell you about the wild experience I had at the chiropractor. I wanted to tell you about the loss of my friend's grandma who passed yesterday due to covid. I wanted to tell you how my heart hurts for the 215 Indigenous bodies that were found. I wanted to tell you about how I'm still grieving the loss of my wedding reception as we slowly cancel everything. I wanted to tell you that I found Castle on Prime and Disney+ - a show I should have started years ago but never did. I wanted to tell you about this book I'm reading - reflecting on the idea of shifting self-care into a collective being rather than centered on yourself. I wanted to tell you that no matter what happens today, the sun will continue to rise and set again tomorrow. The weather has been a bit of a pathetic fallacy here lately. There are sunny days where everything goes perfectly. There are gloomy days like today where I just sit and stare into the void. I wanted to tell you about how some days are harder than others. I really just wanted to tell you the things you already know.

Every day there are sparkles of hope. Of sunshine. Of love, understanding and compassion. I just wanted to tell you that if all you did was breathe today, that's fantastic. I'm so proud of you. It can be hard to find a starting point on where to figure it all out. Sometimes you just have to dive in somewhere.

It's kind of like picking up the phone to call someone you can't - because you removed them from your life or because they've passed. Finding something to grasp onto. Writing it down, or in my case typing it. Thanks for floating with me today. Feel free to drop your thoughts into the void (comment) section.

- Cousin Laura