Eileen over the fence and you can kiss my ***

We’ve been talking a lot about weddings in our family. Cousin Laura is set to be wed this August and we are all so excited. She’s the baby cousin on my mom’s side. She came to our family after our grandma had passed away and instantly became the light and hope. Tine didn’t know Grams (although I’m sure they talked before Laura got here) and to be honest I’m not sure if the world could have handled them together. Hahaha

Even the title of this blog was a phrase she would say... and crack us up.

Eileen had a quiet way about her with a sparkle of je ne sais quoi in her eye. You knew she loved you. She found humour in every little thing… including her yappy dog, Captain. (Older cousins… how many “Captain and Tennille’s did they have??) My cousins will KNOW which Captain I’m referring to. She even made this yappy dog his own sweaters. I can still see the patch she sewed on with the Road Runner that said “Beep Beep my Ass!” Again, finding hilarity in the mundane. I miss her. She passed away the summer I was going in to grade 8. The same summer my beautiful cat Mitts died. The same summer I crashed in to the dock while waterskiing and thus cracking some ribs. (another story for another time – promise)

I had returned from a girls camp and while my dad was driving us home he said, “I have something to talk to you about but I will wait til we get home.” I am a curious person!! Come on! I knew by the sound in his voice (deeper than its usual deep timbre) it was something very serious. I can still remember looking out the window wanting to ask a million questions but knowing that those questions needed to wait. I could tell my dad was hurting. I asked “Did Yogie die?” (Yogie was our beloved super smelly dog) “No, it’s not Yogie. I’ll tell you when we get home.”

And he did.

I remember looking at my mom. It seemed as if she had been crying for days. I think I hugged her and I ran upstairs to the big bathroom… the one with a bathtub. All I could think was if I have a bath I’ll feel better. My mom was trying to talk to me through the door. There was mention of a viewing… “But you don’t have to go. Mike isn’t.” (my cousin just a bit older than I am) “He wants to remember her the way he remembers her.” Wow. Thank goodness for that statement. I managed a “Ok. Me too.” After that, things were fuzzy. This was my first person death of someone I truly loved. Funny how memories are…

(this was her birthday being celebrated at camp. you can barely see my chubby cheeks poking out from behind my bro... but you can see her eyes. *love*)

I have a few that pop in and make me laugh even in this moment.

On our way out to her camp she would stop her giant boat of a car, probably with a cigarette in hand, Yappy-Cappy aka Yappy aka Craptain barking on the floor of the front seat, to let my brother and our cousin Trevor (just a bit younger than Jim) out to pee off of the bridge that sits over a creek. I may have done that with my boys too. “Harder for us girls.” She would look at me and laugh. We thought it was so funny. There would be some stale chips, banana marshmallows and hopefully a spice cake to be had. She had an ease about her despite dis-ease in her life. I can’t go there. Let’s just say she has endured so much… I’m not sure how she did it.

She loved to be at camp. It was her happy place. I can see her making coffee, watching us jump off the dock and laughing. There would be walks to the various out-buildings looking for treasures or throwing shale stones in the lake seeing who could make the most skips. AND, always a fishing line in the lake or a net for trapping minnow.

I love going to this place still. I make sure every summer I head out there to jump off the dock and swim around the lake. The drive out there is filled with nostalgia.

The memories and dreams of her make me smile to have known her and long to see her. I hope she knows how much she was/is loved. I know she would have eaten my guys up… and I can just see Wy giving her the biggest hug… but not too hard… she’s pretty tiny and Zach towering over her. I can see Ella learning from her as well laughing together.

Tears are streaming down my face. I didn’t know that this would be my topic today. I thought I would be sharing about weddings… but here we are with lots of feelings. The funny thing about my grandma is something I gained while learning Spanish. Her middle name is Alma. Alma in Spanish means SOUL. I think it is perfect.

If there is anything I have learned from her example it would be to find humour. Find humour in every single thing. It will help you press through the storms.

Love you, Gran.