So, a friend of mine has been going through some challenges lately and has come across some life altering choices. They finally mustered up the courage to change jobs. If you have ever done this you know it can be a big deal.
(I on the other hand have changed jobs so much I’m almost due for a change myself!.. or maybe that’s my car that needs an oil change.)
In a recent conversation they asked the question “What took me so long?” I’m sure it was meant as a rhetorical question… but if I’m in the room and you’ve asked for an opinion 89% of the time I will give you my opinion… or some version of it since sometimes I like playing “devil’s advocate.”
I replied “You’ve been content in discontent.” I stopped. I repeated the phrase, kind of shocked and pretty impressed with myself.
Content in discontent.
Have you been there? Have you gotten to a place where you are content in the mess? I know I have. In fact there are times where I think it might even be necessary to sit there for a minute to pause and look around. Ask yourself how did I get here? Where am I going? What is the first step? I can reflect on a few of these moments in my life… sometimes understanding how we got there matters and sometimes just reaching forward or stretching out a hand with a little tiny flag that says “Help!” is more important that dissecting how we got there.
When is it ok to roll around in the discontent and what’s the tipping point to change?
Personally, I have sat (annnnnd to be honest I *might* be there now) in my discontent quite happy to be there… because to leave the discontent would take a significant effort to change. And, for today, let’s just blame COVID. Actually, it’s a good point… who do we blame? Do we blame our boss because we are unhappy, do we blame an old lover, our math teacher in grade 11? (Well, maybe that last one is valid) Or, do we take responsibility for the discontent and start making changes. (Please note that this does not include being a victim of a crime, abuse or systemic racism for starters) I’m talking about the changes and stuff we can do to help move us in to the light.
Now, in our world on the eve of a pretty important election, I would say many of us feel like we are sitting in the discontent and with much discontent. On either side. Yes, I live in Canada… however the whole world has their eyes pinned on our neighbours to the south of us. Elections aside, the truth is, the world is stirred with the pressure of a global pandemic, human rights violations (had to throw that in there because of my son who was working on a paper on Human Rights today) plus we have wars, social dilemmas (No, I still haven’t watched it) and 534029098 other issues. Let’s also throw in that every single topic in this world has become so divisive that I believe THIS is the cause of much discontentment! Many of these terrible and disturbing things I don’t have DIRECT CONTROL over.
So guess what… I’m over here trying desperately to be content in discontent. Isn’t that an interesting flip on the thought?
My friend told a story on Sunday about one of her children and their Halloween issue. He wanted to be a Power Ranger. Would any colour do? No. He wanted to be a BLUE power ranger. Of course this decision was a last minute one. Knowing the big hearted person my friend is she set out to bring contentment to this discontented boy. She tried Costco. Nothing. She tried other stores. Nothing. Then by a Covid-Halloween-Zombie-Apocalypse Miracle at the last place she searched there sat, in all of its blue glory, a lone Power Rangers costume… as if it had been waiting there, set aside for him and his hopes and dreams this whole time.
The point of this story is that:
1. Covid-Halloween-Zombie-Apocalypse Miracles happen.
2. It can take a crap load (I’m trying not to swear, guys) of work to get to that place of pulling out of discontent.
3. Sometimes it can take a trusted source to help us in our time of need.
Am I right? (Rhetorical question here, Cousin.)
Moral of this post:
1. You can choose to stay in the discontent… warning… if you do you may become so content and complacent that you become past feeling. (*not so great if you ask me… did you ask me?? Do you want more opinions?)
2. Recognizing that we are content in discontent can be a great place to start peeling out of there.
3. Choosing to be content in discontent can mean that even though the sky is falling and the world is way more scary than that Apple Paperback you read back in ’86 (The House on Hackman’s Hill comes to mind ) you can choose to rise above. Yeah, it takes effort… but that is your choice! (Cool, eh?)
4. You are stronger and cuter than you think.
Let's stop being distracted by the scenery of discontent and start building the contentment we need and deserve. Cousin Christine wrote a great book called "100 Daily Affirmations for Houseplants" When You Simply Need Something Nice to Say to Your Plants.
Maybe we start here... for us and our plants. (Includes my fave: "You are and were a gift." PLUS it is a very affordable and hilarious book)
You can find me over here mustering up the courage and will power to make the changes I can see for myself as I work towards being more content in building my contentment.
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