Throughout the past few years (since 2019, really) I've had this undercurrent (and reoccurring) theme of Connection. It's something that's there, and like a wave, reaches up and splashes me in the face every once in awhile. Connection is essential. Connection with yourself, your culture, those around you - family, friends, strangers on the bus...Connection to the land. This theme has gained a lot of momentum recently - and maybe it's also because I'm more tuned in to it. In 2019, as many of you know, I went through the beginning stages of a huge self transformation (re-connection). Then, my world crumbled and I put myself on hold. I spent a lot of time connection (re-connecting) with my mom before she passed. Connection carried me through - my connection to her, my family, my friends. (& Evan and the cats, of course). 2020, the pandemic hit and I was struck with another wave of grief - and another wave of connection.
2021 came and the burnout took hold. I held on for dear life all the way until January 2023. I finally felt like I could hold my own again. I finally have a handle and don't have to rely on my auto-pilot anymore. I made it.
The ebb and flow of life.
How did I make it? Connection. Connection brought me back to myself. It was not an easy road - having those tough talks with yourself is as daunting as it is to have them with others.
Dr Jody Carrington speaks on it, Culturally Responsive Self-Care Practices for Early Childhood Educators carries this theme through (this book was a huge connector for me)...I had the privileged of listening to Dr Jean Clinton and Dr Anton Treuer speak on it just this past week. Connection, connection, connection. In the words of Dr Jody "We were never meant to do this alone." The undercurrent splashes me again.
How am I making it now? Connection. Having the opportunity this week to do something big and scary that I never would have done 3 years ago. Connecting to my culture, my colleagues, peers, and myself. It was terrifying, but I did it. Once you feel connected - it's easier, but it isn't easy getting to that point.
I had a wonderful conversation with an Elder this week. We had a really lovely conversation; reiterating how important connection is.
The material stuff? You can't take it with you (I mean, you can take some of it to your resting spot). What you do take is your connection. The life you've built. The intentions you've set. I believe that parts of us live inside each other - grief is the price of love, but it's also humbling to know what you have because of others. The music we listen to, the way we dance, the favourite way to prepare a meal, the traditions we carry with us and gift to others, the knowledge we hold... and everything in between. Your story - but not just your personal story, the stories you carry with you.
I had another chat with someone else this week - why do we attract people? I can make myself look so unapproachable on the bus (for example) - and I'll always get the tap on the shoulder from a stranger, without fail. I don't mind - they clearly need connection and somehow I feel like the safe person. The Elder said he can feel the connection in him - Spirit guides us to connection. I felt so seen.
Keep navigating those rough waters. You can do big hard scary things. If you're thinking about doing something, the implied no is there - you are capable. Reach out, try, and most importantly - connect. And don't forget to pack your own sunshine, and enjoy the view.
This amazing felt artwork is by Wilder Folk Collective. Sara is a wonderful and talented human. I told myself it Big & Scary things was still there at the end of conference I'd buy it... and of course, there it was.
Sure love you,
- Cousin Tine
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