People will do all kinds of things to try and live longer, lose weight and look younger. I am 52 years old. I’m over weight, hitting menopause, my guts are broken and my body hurts all the time. I don’t want to look like a 25 year old, or be a size 6; I just want to feel healthy and strong again.
It's summer now and since I was not able to meet the expectations I set for myself to obtain that hard beach body, I decided to try another approach. I started reading this book a few weeks ago and it got me thinking about what it is I actually do to my body and how I treat it. The author of this book never talks about dieting or extreme forms of exercise; instead, he focuses on kind of a ‘whole person’ approach. I need to eat well, I need to exercise daily, and I need to live each day with purpose. That’s it; no crazy diets full of kale and grapefruit. No exercise plans that require 3 hours at a gym. And your purpose is not defined by anything other than what makes you feel good about each day. That’s it.
The author had hooked me in, and I decided to take a breath and really look at how I treat my body; what I put in it, how I use it, how I feel in my skin each day. I started thinking about all of the things I have done in the past in an effort to be healthy and I was quickly reminded that none of it really worked in any lasting manner. After I beat myself up a bit for not having the discipline to follow someone else’s diet and exercise plan, it dawned on me; none of the expectations in those health plans were mine. That’s when the epiphany happened, standing in my kitchen, hands on hips, staring out the window; I have complete control over how my body functions. Me, I’m in control. I know, I know, it sounds so simple, but sometimes it takes a while for me to make the simple connections.
So why am I talking to you about my failed attempts to attain someone else's health goals? Because during the course of reading this book and making some little changes to my days, I was made acutely aware that my problem wasn’t specifically with food or exercise; my problem was with the expectations I placed on my body. I didn’t give myself any wiggle room for life to happen; I was ‘all or none’ in my thinking and that has caused me to set unrealistic expectations for myself (on a pretty regular basis). This is why I am talking to you about my wellness journey.
As humans, we are pretty complex animals; but as people we are pretty predictable in our repetitive behaviour. Finding balance with all of the things life throws in our faces is not easy, but choosing balance is; it is just a matter of managing our expectations. It's about being kinder and gentler with yourself. It’s about making room for mistakes and do-overs. It’s about remembering where we started and how far we have already come on our journey. This isn’t a post about weight loss or fitness, its a post about how we connect to ourselves in order to achieve wellness in the most honest sense of the word.
I am working hard to get connected to my body in a way that is healthy and realistic for me. I’m doing things that feel good to me; I’m jogging again, lifting some weights, and trying not to eat the universe when I’m bored or frustrated with life. I evaluate my personal expectations daily as a means of actively choosing my balance. So for now, I will steadily do good things for my body, and my expectation will be that my body will carry me through the next 30 to 40 years without too many hiccups. This expectation feels realistic and honest, so I'm going to live with it for a while and see where it takes me.